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    61.

    你他妈的去死吧 少来管老子闲事
    i dun give u a fucking shit, i play fucking hard!!!!!

    53. Light way

    抬头透过头顶的玻璃可以看到轻轨离开站台

    你就是这样离开的 - 慢慢慢慢慢慢 … 加速!!!!

    不留遗憾???

    52.

    hello there, the angel from the nitemare,

    happy bday.

     

    its so far away.

     

    its so hard to adapt the life w/out u.

    i dun mean to bother u im just a bit fragile n i cant pretend not to care u. maybe u still cant get the meaning of elephant juice or just pretend that u dunno. all r gone. cos u r so far away. so fucking far away from my heart. im sorry i just cant forget the days we shared the world n dun force urself to say something tender sweet that u aint willing to. that day we said goodbye was actually a farewell. but its too late for me to realize it. i just missed u. but i cant stop missing u.elephant juice.

    44

    经过长长长长的一段时间空白,而这空白还可能继续延续下去,究竟会是怎样的我还是不知道,没有把握。既然知道自己是龌龊低俗的,那就不必要感到不安了。

    这样长长长长的一段时间,足够让人把生活安定下来了,更何况是重新安定,而不是没有经验不知所措的。既然知道自己是肮脏卑贱的,那就不必要感到伤感了。

    那么究竟还要坚持什么啊,我不该愚蠢到相信一个没有轮廓的未来,每一封信里的温度都在下降,我可以在眼前看到那条骤降的曲线。Sounds like a plan. 这是事先安排好的吧。既然可以是这样僵硬地天衣无缝着。无论你曾经是多么不舍,现在你已经无所谓了。

    允诺的口气一次比一次不坚定。只是一味祝福,我不需要这样的祝福,明知道我不可能高高兴兴的,你不会觉得心酸么。你在提到strange juice的时候会哭么。你不会,因为我才不会相信你现在过得很不好。你不好,你能和我比么。你的24小时里有那么0.5秒属于回忆么。你早就什么都不记得了。

    你可以停止这一切,假如你觉得疲倦或者无趣。给我一个显而易见的信号,我也不想做一个被拴在树上的风筝。

    33

     it was goddamn freaky awesome u fucks suck!

    32

    时间过的可真快 你的心情大约早就被时间沉淀了吧

    31

    预备——起飞!!

    Fuck, that stoned.

    30

    原来manson和dita已经离婚了,感觉manson的新欢不怎么样啊。有dita这样一个完美的前妻,新欢的压力应该很大。他们喜欢就好。
    我其实很饿,我其实一直在想过一会儿就睡觉了,我其实一直在拖拉,我其实清醒的很。即将面临问题是生理上的崩溃将远远早于心理上的。
    不适合休息的。各种想法会在我松懈的一刹那钻进我的大脑各种褶皱,无缝不入。我宁可累死,也不想被自己烦死。为什么我没有另一个人格可以让我暂时逃避一下呢。
    我觉得IDH好听的要死。他们走的一刹那、那情那景,就想起了那最糟糕的一天。我想我的表情显得过于僵硬让人浮想联翩。
    你能理解我当时的心情么,我直接就从椅子上跳起来了,待我看到那人的正脸时,我居然会这两种感觉并存,松了一口气,却又失落万分。我简直就想抽自己两巴掌,怎么那么好笑。

    its the 29th day

    这种感觉奇怪的难以叙述。没有为什么的,我不值得被给出任何一个理由。因为我就是一傻比。

    一点点

    原来半夜尽量不要往天桥走啊,我原来都不知道。

    过两天要去花鸟市场里暗戳戳的摊头问问还有没有老鹰卖的。养老鹰很帅。

    最快乐还是下班之后坐在一起吃饭聊天。

    壁画也很有意思,虽然总有种任务的意思,不弄完心里就很痒。

    我现在几乎都不睡觉了。

    haha its funny that pretty boy’s a sweet gal.

    whole nite’s horror movies.
    so, it was from dusk till dawn.
    n now, i really need some sweet music.
    reggae. reggae. reggae.

    x

    im sorry. im sorry. im so fucking sorry kaine…
    i should love u. i should protect u. i should cherish n take care of u… but i didnt.
    sorry daddy. sorry mommy. im so sorry. i am so sorry.

    怎么办

    我真的太害怕了

    我的!!!

    如果来了,那就留下吧。

    i suddenly realize that it doesnt worth it

    but i m even sad now. how the hell? ahh i dun fucking know!!!
    no reply. no greeting. but why? yea cos all r gone now n i m a stranger again. i can understand. i can.
    n i dun worth u good sorts taking thought for. look, cos i m such a piece of stone-broke shit, always.

    it’s gonna be the end of the 7th day. and i’m just a miserable deadhead.

    u never know how important u to me. i dun wanna be such a piteous woman. but i dun wanna pretend to be light-hearted as well. why dun u just eat me, drink me. carry me in ur body all the time. at least, im w u, all the time. at least, it’s u hold around me, all the time.

    i wanna live in a happy life. i wanna lie in the bed lazily. u r my dearest sunshine. u were, u r, n u always gonna be. but why u never how important u to me. i hate the days w/out sunshine. i hate the silly helpless me. darkness gonna kill me. i know, i know i need to stay tough, not to stay like a piteous bastard.

    i dun how long it’ll take me to calm myself down. calm as nothing’s happened.

    u r always the most important person to me. n my next tattoo gonna be a 硬. it’s the best way to take u w me forever. “i dun wanna leave u.”

    该死的矜持

    我明明很想哭,我明明很想对你重复你对我说的话,可是我最后还是低着头挤出一个扭曲的微笑,我不能说话,因为一旦开口我就会泪如雨下,我不想让你一次又一次看到我偷偷哭得通红的眼。

    and when you're gone it gets so cold. i swear i'm too young to be this old.

    so wat can i do.

    i try hard to hold back the tears

    fuck i cant do that!